so explain again why im purple
no
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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