I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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