if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
