Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
