you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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