Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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