This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
