Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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