maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
