He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
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I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
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I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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