So drunk its hurt
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize