Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
