Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
