the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
