All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
