pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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