i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
