hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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