the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize