belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can I color on your dick again?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
