We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
