White coat. Heels.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
