Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
