I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
