Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
