i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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