Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
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While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
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Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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