Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
