Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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