suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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