Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
