he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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