so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
