you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
