i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize