he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
