i think my mom watched the whole time
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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