i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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