I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
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Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
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He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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