There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
