yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
