You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
