There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
