I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
