come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Randomize
