i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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