We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
