i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
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Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
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Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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