he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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