I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
