Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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