We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
