your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
