Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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