I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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