i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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