I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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