So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
honey bunches of taint.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I am one with the molecules
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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