I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize