I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize