if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just sent this text using only my big toe
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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