I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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