No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
