...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
